After two helpings of pasta and a bowl of frozen yogurt, my friends and I decided to talk about weight-loss. We must have felt guilty or that it had been too long since we tortured ourselves.
I mean, what else are two women and a gay guy going to talk about at that point?
The odd thing is none of us are overweight or underweight. We just trick ourselves into thinking we can–and should–look better. Here are some of those reasons we create (and sequentially torture ourselves with) and why they’re not good enough to go on a guilt trip every time you add an extra maraschino cherry.
1. I’ll be more confident
Looking good makes you feel good, but it gets slippery when we rely on it to feel worth someone’s time. The shelf-life of looking good is usually fleeting–like getting a new shirt. It feels great for a while, but after a couple weeks, we’re window shopping. If you want to find confidence, take a look inward and without a mirror.
2. I’ll be able to fit in to that dress/suit better
We’re always trying to fit in to something rather than make room for ourselves. This is the literal version of trying to “fit in,” which we spent all of kindergarten through grade 12 doing. Isn’t twelve years of that enough? I promise there’s another dress that will both look and feel good on you. Take ten more minutes at the mall before you jog up and down your stairs twelve times a day.
3. I want to find a date
It’s easy to replace our self-worth with our image. In order to love and be loved we think we need to lose weight or bulk up. That’s not what love is. Love is when someone wants to be with you regardless of how dewey your complexion is, or how big your biceps are. There will always be someone cuter than you, but there won’t be someone youer than you.
4. People don’t respect me
You want people to respect you? Show up on time. Take your friend’s phone call at 4 a.m. Don’t go home with someone on the first date. See through the goals and projects you say you’re going to do. Fleeting respect is predicated on appearance; the kind that lasts comes from good work. Do well and people will notice.
5. My high school reunion is coming up
You haven’t seen most of these people for over a decade, so why bother caring what they think? The friends you realized were worth your time in high school are probably still with you and love you despite having seen you eat a football-sized burrito at ten p.m. Friends like that are proof you’re getting life right. Don’t get hung up on impressing the people you only remember from third period.